Children’s ministry is a much debated topic in the American church. Should the children’s service and adult’s service be one and the same? Can children understand adult teaching? Maybe we should just put them in a back room with a teacher of their own. Opinions vary from letting the children preach and move in the gifts to keeping them silent and observing. Heart-felt books have been written on both sides of the subject and pastors in some churches feel like they are being backed into a corner on the subject. But then, often, the children are all but forgotten – shoved into a back corner with an untrained teacher and little funding. For research I have looked around on internet debates, surveyed my church and read several books on the subject.
First, we will look at what the Bible says on the subject. Three verses are often quoted by the two camps of opinion. The verse quoted on the “Children should observe in church” side is this : Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” They say that you should train the child to be active later on when he is older. Then used on the other side is: 1 Tim. 4:12 “Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” And Psalm 8:2 “From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise because of your enemies, to silence the foe and the avenger.”
On surveying my church I found that 30% had their own children in children’s church, of those all of them had observed a service (one was a Sunday school teacher) and two thirds of them found it mediocre. Of the other group, 85% had never observed the children’s service. Of all of them, 70% wanted the children to feel free to dance and sing during worship. 10% wanted them to sit quietly, 10% wanted them to be in their own service during worship, and 10% didn’t answer the question. 50% said that children should have their own service most or all of the time, 20% said that children should quietly observe in adult service, and 30% said children should be involved in adult service. 80% said that they were open to children ministering in the areas of prayer and music and 20% were unsure. Many commented that children are in church to learn by observing adults, they should be reverent and quiet. One said that children can often minister to adults when God moves on them. All of this illustrates the range of opinions on the subject. It’s rather difficult to draw conclusive results from.
The reasoning on the “quiet kids” side goes along these lines: Children learn in a different way from adults and therefore need a separate service to be taught in a way they understand (sort of a “separate but equal” principle). The Bible calls for services to be orderly and children are generally anything but orderly. Children just seem to enjoy their own service better, why make them sit and listen to a long sermon? Besides, they just haven’t gotten to the point where they really can understand spiritual things. Many pastors add that children have become such a behavior problem that it just isn’t really plausible to have them in the service.
In “Children of Revival” by Pastor Vann Lane of Brownsville Assembly of God, Pastor Lane offers many compelling arguments for the young people of the church. He has observed children ministering to adults in a way that other adults cannot. “Children are like pipes for the Spirit to flow through.” He says, “They are too young to let their pipes get clogged with fear and worry the way adults’ do.” David Walters, Author of “Children Aflame” says “Children have the same Holy Spirit as Adults, not some juvenile version of it.” Meaning that a word from the Lord can be just as easily given to the church through a child as through an adult.
But why don’t the young people of the church move into this role? Gordon Mclean of Chicago Youth for Christ says “Children have an amazing ability to live out what is expected of them by adults.” When adults tell children in words or attitude that they cannot work for God until their older, the children accept it as fact and do not try. Many times even the curriculum for the young people is geared to teach children about God, not really to get them moving out in the Lord themselves. Facilities are often a problem (facilities are generally separate and inherently unequal), in “Children of Revival” Pastor Lane tells of how on first moving to Brownsville church, he was confronted with the problem of a leaky roof in the nursery that left a puddle on the floor. He asked for it to be fixed, but it kept getting put off until overcrowding forced an adult Sunday school class to use the room. Once the adults were using the room, the problem was fixed within days. During my survey, I asked the Pastor what percentage of the budget went to the children’s ministry, the answer: less that 5%. Judging by the size of the church, that is barely enough to buy snack each week!
Sunday school teachers are often frustrated by the apathetic attitudes of the church. Vann Lane complained of the ushers commenting that it was “just babysitting” and “God will only get a hold of them when their teenagers anyway.” But, as Bill Wilson of Metro Ministries commented, “It’s easier to build boys and girls than repair men and women.” Children’s ministry is a vital part of the church and needs to be regarded as such to succeed.
In the survey, both pastors surveyed said that the children were no involved in the adult service and that they would like to see that change, but no plan so far has been made to bridge the gap between the adults and children. One young mother complained that when she decided it was better to keep her son in the service with her, she was pelted with people kindly reminding her that “this church has great nurseries available for the children of that age.” Although, the pastors surveyed said they really didn’t mind parents keeping their children in the service.
Many styles of children’s ministry have been tried in the past and many have been successful, but from my research, desired results are only achieved when the church is united and children are not thought of as a separate church altogether. Such thinking alienates not only the children but the workers in the children’s area. Children need to have adults to mimic to learn what Christianity is about – that is how children learn. Kept to themselves in a separate service, they have no example to follow. But it must also go beyond that to allowing children not only to mimic but to minister as the Holy Spirit leads. Children must be encouraged, accepted, and involved in the all of the church activities.
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